For better or for worse

In the almost eleven years that Morgan and I have been together we have lived in a lot of places.  From my tiny shack in Dillon Beach to Bodega Bay, to Marshall, to Bodega, to Santa Rosa, to Guerneville and then to Valley Ford, we have covered a pretty good chunk of land.  For me, Valley Ford has always felt like home.  I think alot of it has to do with the fact that this is where I had my restaurant and this is where I lived when I first moved to CA.  To me, Valley Ford is home..  I know the people here- either in person or by word of mouth.  I know the back roads like the back of my hand and for me, the spirit of these lands is what really draws me in.  Rolling hills filled with grazing sheep, beef cows and dairys - whats not to love? 

The house that we now live in, used to be inhabited by a good friend of mine named Janet.  I remember coming over here for the first time a few years ago to help her get ready for a barn party.  I was sitting on the porch shucking corn and I thought to myself " This would be an awesome spot to raise a family."  Keep in mind this was many years before Morgan and I contemplated having kids.  Years go by, Morgan and I buy a one bedroom house in  Guerneville and are living "Happily Ever After".  And then there was Avrie.  I never wanted kids.  I dont know why, but I just didnt want to go that route.  But.....eventually you start to imagine the pitter patter of little feet and can't imagine your life without that sound.  After a full year of trying to get to the point of possibly hearing that sound - we finally got pregnant and well, that was that.  The older Avrie got, the less comfortable our little one bedroom house got.  I put the word out that we were looking to move into a bigger place and before we knew it, word came that Janet's old place - the place I thought would be great to raise a family in - was for rent.  It didnt take much convincing on my behalf to convince Morgan we needed to get out of Guernville and get into Janet's old place in Valley ford.

So, we packed up and moved. From Guerneville to Valley Ford - we were country again!  Yay!  We went from a tiny one bedroom place on a 1/4 acre to a three bedroom place on about 600 acres ( I think...) To make it even better this 600 acres is a working beef cow ranch.  We get all the joys of looking out the windows to see cows but dont have to deal with any of the headache.  Avrie LOVES playing in the hay barn, but we arent responsible for putting the hay in, we just get to enjoy it.  Across the way is a sheep ranch - oh what - yes we can stare at as many sheep as we want.  Across the road from us are some dairy cows.  Throw that all together with the random deer, turkeys, bobcats, quail etc that we encounter - its pretty easy to see why this is such an awesome spot.

We live in an extremely old house - old carpet, old appliances, old fireplace - thats what makes me love it.  If the girls spill a little juice on the carpet, big deal - clean it up and move on. Carpets older than dirt anyways who cares.  There has been so much "life" in this place over the years that it just, well, makes it liveable.  I love that we have enough land that we can have goats, sheep, cats and a dog.  Pretty much anything the girls want we can do.  If  I need to go chasing sheep in nothing but my bathrobe, nobody will notice and if they do they will probably just be thinking to themselves " Been there, done that."  Whatever happens I LOVE this place, I LOVE what it stand for and I LOVE what lives inside it..  I wouldnt have it any other way cause this really is my home, for better or for worse.

Avrie Appreciation Day

Overall Morgan and I have been pretty lucky to have such good kids. From birth they have both been laid back, calm and easy to get along with.  Most of the time...all kids have fits here and there but I think compared to most kids, my girls are way below the norm. When I was pregnant with Piper everyone kept telling me that she was going to be super difficult because there was just no way that I would get two easy kids in a row. Well,  I did!  Up until about two weeks ago...

About two weeks ago Avrie started to get a major attitude and in my opinion a bad behavior problem.  She went from getting one time out a month to about 5 a day.  Yes, 5 in a day - and they weren't the easy, sit her in the time out chair and wait 3 minutes kind of time outs. These were the ones where a 3 minute time out lasted about an hour.  Not fun.  She started kicking, hitting, throwing things, and even screamed the dreaded "I hate you" to me several times.  This behavior concerned me because it just wasn't like her.  I've watched enough Nanny 911 to know that kids usually act this way for a reason.

I started thinking about our daily routines, the daily conversations, everything that could give me a clue to why she could possibly be acting so badly.  It didn't take too long to figure it out.  Almost every time Avrie would ask for something, for me to color with her, for a snack, whatever - my usual response was something along the lines of "In a minute",  "After I...", "Let me finish this.."  You can see where I'm going.  Piper is at an age where she needs alot of attention, I think I might have forgotten about the part where Avrie needs alot of attention too.  Of course she's going to act up, its the only time she gets direct, uninterrupted attention from me.

Obviously this is not okay.  I need Avrie to know that she is as important to us as Piper is.  She needs our attention in an equal way, period.  So,  today we made arrangements to take Piper to the babysitter so Morgan and I could spend the day alone with Avrie.  We took her to see the new Kung Fu Panda movie - where she got to pick whatever snacks she wanted.  We went to the pet store so she could pet all the kitties, look at all the fish and tweet at all the birds.  We took her to the goat farm to see her new pet goats, went for Pizza and then grocery shopping.  She was allowed to pick a special treat at the grocery and she picked a 2 lb container of fresh blueberries.  Sort of reminded me of myself as a kid where I always wanted a head of cauliflower.  It was a fun day.

During the movie Avrie leaned over and whispered to me that the last time we went to a movie together Pipey was in my tummy.  Scary that she remembered that but even scarier - that day at the movies when I was prego with Piper was the last time Morgan and I had done anything with just Avrie.  That's sad to me and I am definitely going to make an effort to have more alone time with the kids.  Its important to do no matter how busy we are, and lets face it - we're never that busy. 

Having fun on the way to drop Piper off

With one of the full sized dwarf goats - just the right size for Avrie

Me holding one of our new goats.  It was like holding a puppy so cuddly

Tuckered out after a day of fun with mommy and daddy

"Sigh" School days

I am not one of those people that looks back on my high school years and thinks of them as the best times of my life.  I was painfully shy, socially awkward, had little self confidence and was just plain uncomfortable in my skin.  I wasn't involved in many after school activities - school sponsored or otherwise, went to very few dances, ball games, parties etc.  I had a few close friends that I could count on and hang out with.  Without them I probably wouldn't have any memories of high school at all.  I remember when I graduated high school I had basically no idea what I wanted to do in life, or even what kind of life I wanted to have. 




High School Graduation with one of my lifelong best friends Jessica

 Without any real plan I signed up for classes at the University of Louisville and just decided I would figure things out as I went.  I made new friends, tried new things, made some mistakes, had a few accomplishments and here I am, living in California - married with two kids.  Didn't see that one coming. 




Me at Kindergarten Graduation.  My mom made my dress along with a matching one for my Cabbage Patch doll

 With so many graduations going on right now it got me thinking.  What one piece of advice would I pass on to the new high school graduates?  What one thing was instrumental to my success as an adult. For me it was the willingness to take chances and try new things.  I had a pretty nice life in Kentucky when I got the offer to move to California.  I didn't need to run away from anything, I loved my friends and my family and had it pretty good. My heart told me to stay in Kentucky but my brain just kept telling me "You will never have this opportunity again".  So, as I've said before, Fat Cat and I boarded a plane to San Francisco and the rest is history.  Sure in my college years I made some mistakes - okay, maybe more than some.  (All my friends from college are getting a good laugh right now.)  But all of those mistakes made me who I am today, each one a lesson learned.  I am very happy with my life now and I owe it all to being willing to take a chance and see what happens.  I urge all you high school graduates to do the same - you never know where one little opportunity might get you, just be sure it doesn't get you in jail!



Senior prom with 2 more lifelong friends - Amanda and Jamie



Shoreline Acres Preschool here we come!

Today I went and signed Avrie up for preschool this fall. I was having a real hard time deciding where to send her and ultimately I decided it was best for all to send her to our local Shoreline Acres Preschool.  A special thank you to Missy for helping me realize what a great little school this is! From the minute I got to the school grounds this morning I knew I had made the right decision.  I went in the Elementary School office for directions and was greeted by someone I knew.  As we were getting out of the car to walk to the preschool I was greeted by someone I knew (Hi Rosario!)  When we walked in the preschool I recognized all the adults in the room and several of the names on the kids cubbies.  It just felt right.

As the teacher, Mrs. Furlong was filling me in on all the goings on at the school she made time to stop and interact with each child and gave them the opportunity to explain things to us as well.  The kids all seemed interested in making friends with Avrie and after a bit she relaxed and seemed into them as well.  Everything about the preschool seemed so great, from healthy snacks to mid-day tooth brushing I couldn't have asked for much more.  This preschool is a co-op as well so parents are required to assist the teacher once a month.  I cant wait for my turn to get to see how Avrie interacts with the other kids.  In fact - I don't know who is more excited me or her.  The kids were excited for their field trip to Dillon Beach this week and geez, they made me wish I could go to!

I'm also really excited that some of my mommy friends will be sending their little ones here this year too!  The kids will already know each other and I'm sure that might take a little fear out of it for them all.  Not to mention the fact that us moms can help each other out if need be with pickups, drop offs etc.  Avrie was so upset today when we had to leave that she ran outside, threw herself on the ground and started crying and screaming.  I was so embarrassed and hoped that none of the adults in the preschool had witnessed this.  If they did they are probably wondering what they have in store for them. I don't know how I would have gotten her out of there if it weren't for some giant beetle crawling up to her and scaring her to me.  Good times!  I can't wait for her to start preschool- I know she is excited too.  I hate to see my baby growing up so fast but at least she will be doing it in the presence of some familiar faces.

She wanted to try on her new school shirt and then proceeded to do a happy dance while singing " I get to go to pee-school, I get to go to pee-school!"  Yes, pee-school.  So stinkin cute!

Diving with daddy...sort of

I grew up in a small town in Kentucky where the closest body of water was the Ohio River.  Lets face it, there aren't alot of reasons to get in the Ohio River so I was never that comfortable around water.  Don't get me wrong, I can swim in a pool but throw me in anything larger than that and I panic.  My husband on the other hand has always - his entire life lived within a mile or so of the ocean.  He seems to feel just as comfortable bobbing around in the ocean as I feel shopping the clearance rack at Target.  He loves fishing, spear fishing, diving, abalone diving - pretty much anything as long as its in the water.  Did I mention his dad Russell was a commercial fisherman?  Morgan went on many a fishing trips with his dad as a youngster.  Sometimes it seems like he is more comfortable and relaxed in the water than anywhere else.  Makes sense, he's been around it his whole life.

Coming in from free diving for abalone in Sea Ranch

If you want to get to the primo dive spots out here you have to be willing to climb some rocky hillsides



Three Abalone

 Then there's me, I pretty much hate water.  Pools are disgusting to me and rivers, lakes, oceans etc just seem like a good place to get nibbled on by some other species - maybe a smaller one, maybe a larger one. The thought of being in the water does absolutely nothing for me.  However, the thought of spending more alone time with my hubby does sound pretty good.  This is why I have decided to..drum roll please.....get a wet suit and start getting in the ocean with my hubby. If I want to spend more time with him then I better learn to like something that he likes to do. I figured I will try to find the right wetsuit for me and then the two of us are going to have to take a few trips to the beach to get me comfortable in the water. Maybe I should even take a swim lesson or two?  Who knows!  He's willing to teach me and I would like to see what its all about.

Steelhead fishing at the Chetco River in Oregon

Striper from the Sacramento River - Avrie thought it was pretty neat

In a few more years, probably sooner rather than later, the girls are going to want to see what this "diving" thing is all about and daddy will gladly and eagerly want to teach them what its all about. Who knows, in a few years we could be a family of ocean free divers.  Doubtful, but you never know. When I mentioned this to Morgan I made it clear that I would not interfere with his manly dive time.  All you girls out here know what I'm talking about, I also promised that I wouldn't try to convince all the other diver's wives out here to follow in my footsteps.  But hey, who's to say us girls couldn't have our own dive days without the boys, anythings possible. Cocktails and oysters afterwards....hmmm.... this is starting to sound good! I might be wasting my money on a wetsuit and never make it past my first lesson, but at least during that one lesson I got to spend a little alone time with the hubby and that's really what its all about.

Morgan not long after we met with a good sized abalone

Mommy Memory Day

Morgan and I have never been much on celebrating holidays together in the traditional sense.  We don't buy each other Christmas gifts, we don't do Valentines Day, Anniversary's or Birthdays.  Of course we celebrate special occasions for the girls but as far as the two of us are concerned simply acknowledging the holiday is usually good enough.  It's pretty much been this way since we met.  I guess we figured out early on that you shouldn't get the other person something just because its expected.  If it's expected it sort of takes the feeling away from it.  Personally, I'm not a big fan of flowers and I have never felt like I was missing out because I didn't get a box of chocolates on Valentines Day.  I would rather us show each other how much we care on a regular daily basis than on a special occasion.

This being said, Mother's Day isn't much different.  On Mother's Day I get to sleep in, I get breakfast cooked for me and I get control of the remote all day.  Basically Morgan plays me for the day.  This gift is better than anything money can buy.  But, it did get me thinking.... If Morgan has to act like me on Mother's Day then perhaps it's only fair that I act like Morgan on Father's Day.  Let me see... how will the day start.  I guess when I hear the girls are awake I will roll over and pretend to be asleep. Once he gets tired of listening to Piper cry he will go get her and I will go take an uninterrupted shower.  After my shower I will sit on the couch and put on a tv show of my choosing, I'm thinking Food Network and then wait for my breakfast to be brough to me.  After I eat my breakfast I will leave the mess for Morgan to clean up and I will head over to my buddies house to either work on some fishing project or go fishing, spearfishing or diving.  After a few hours I will come home get the girls all excited and then wait for dinner.  After dinner I will go to bed and wait for the alarm in the morning.  Sounds like a pretty good day to me.   Wonder how well this plan will go over. Probably not to good.

Lets face it, it's us moms that make the world go round.  It's the moms that make sure the kids favorite outfits are clean, it's moms that make sure the kids eat more than cereal every day, it's moms that make sure baths get taken, bikes get ridden, boo boos get kissed, spirits get lifted.  Moms make everything better, I know mine always did.  I think everyday should be Mother's Day.  Everyday we should be thankful for all that our moms and mom figures have done for us - past, present and future.  Not one of us would be here without a mom, but then again none of us would be here without a dad either.  As far as daddy's go, I couldn't have wished for a better one for my girls.  He loves us all unconditionally, gives all that he has to our family and most importantly makes us all laugh till it hurts.  I am so thankful and happy to be a mommy and I couldn't have done it without daddy, love you Morgan!






Three days before Avrie was born

An hour or so before Avrie was born

Avrie!!

One week before Piper was born

Day before Piper was born

Newborn Piper  - She was born and we were released from the hospital so fast I think this is the first picture of her.  My mom said it felt like we went to get groceries and came home with a baby - I sort of feel the same way.





Preschool - Whether here or there

Lately Avrie has really been showing an interest in going to preschool.  Morgan and I decided that this next term we will send her two days a week so she can see what its all about and hopefully start to prepare for kindergarten.  Open enrollment starts May 15th and I'm totally stuck and can't decide where to send her.

I spent the first few years of Elementary School in Trimble County. Having been born and raised there I had alot of really good friends.  Sometime in early Elementary I moved, going to a few different schools in a few different counties, even spent a year in Indiana.  My 9th grade year I moved back to Trimble County and that's where I stayed until I graduated.  Alot of time passed from the Elementary years to the High School years and alot of those close childhood friends were like strangers now and it felt almost like I was starting over in a place I'd never been before.  I managed to keep a couple of those friends - (you know who you are XOXO) and made a few new ones ( you know who you are too XOXO).  But it always did and still does bother me that I don't have any true forever friends, kids that I have been close to since birth and continued to be close to in adulthood.  I don't want this for my girls.  I want them to have forever friends that have been by their sides since day 1.

Morgan on the other hand has those forever friends.  All of his close friends he has known since Elementary School, and he talks to most of these guys at least once a week, more if the fishing is good.  These are the kinds of friendships I want the girls to have.  I realize that these friendships need to start early and continue indefinately.  This leads me to my dilemma.

Avrie and Grace at Avrie's 2nd Birthday Party

Avrie has been going to her babysitter since she was 2 months old.  Piper has been going to the same babysitter since she was about 3 months old.  Gina, the sitter has 4 children - Grace (8), Collin (6), Cole (3 months younger than Avrie) and Jayden (3 months older than Piper.)  Avrie and Grace are almost inseperable, they have adopted each other as sisters.  Avrie will tell you that Grace is her best friend and Collin is her next best friend.  All of Gina's kids go to or will go to the same school in Sebastopol - a town maybe 15 minutes from where I live.  Our kids have already started to grow up together, Avrie and Cole will be in the same grade, Piper and Jayden will be in the same grade... I'm considering sending the girls to school in Sebastopol instead of our local School District.

Collin and Avrie at Avrie's 3rd Birthday Party

Do I try to foster these early childhood bonds they have made with the daycare kids or do I try to help them create new friendships in our local school district - which also happens to be where most of my friends will be sending their kids and where Morgan went.  I would love to be able to go to school events and see all my girlfriends and Morgan's friends there, cheering all the kids on.  I would also be love for Avrie to be able to say she has known her very best friend since she was 2 months old.  Whatever we do, my goal is to start them in the school district they will want to finish in.  If I sign Avrie up for preschool in Sebastopol, I would like to see her continue there, unless she wants something different.  Same goes if I sign her up at Shoreline USD.  Its a tough decison and I know it can all change at the drop of a hat, but I really want to think it out. Better figure it out soon - May 15th is just around the corner!