As a very awkward teenager I had an issue with his "things". Before friends came over I would gather things up and hide them trying to look more normal . Gees...what's normal!?!? As I got older I realized these things meant something to him, these things were a part of him, these things made him happy. So, I embraced it and began to try and see what he saw. And I'm glad I did.
When he died our family was in the middle of a catastrophic event. This event is still going on but I do believe it was probably at its most severe point. I don't really want to make this about "that" or his death so I'll stop there. Once he passed it became the job of me, my mom and well, even my stepdad The Mike, to clean out his house and box up his things. It was really amazing to me that most of what he had, he had in threes. Three china cabinets, three pizza ovens, three tv's, I think he even had three vehicles. It's like he lived his life knowing things would need to be split between my brother, my sister and myself. It was crazy. But, we managed to get everything sorted out and boxed up.
That was the easy part. Living so far away it was impossible for me to bring many things back to CA from my dads in KY. So, everything stayed boxed up in my moms garage for years. Little by little, bit by bit these boxes were mailed to me in CA. When I first got them I was determined to open them all at once. After a couple boxes and about a thousand tears I realized that wasn't going to work. So I made a decision to only open one box a year. On a date of my choosing. This year I decided to open a box at my dads death anniversary. That happened on Thanksgiving last Thursday and today was the day a box was opened. I randomly picked one and here's what I found.
Dads work attendance records:You would never meet a more hard working man then my dad. I remember when his appendix ruptured at work he finished out his shift, drove home to check on me and then drove himself to the hospital. He spent a week in the hospital and could have died then. As much pain as he was in he still thought of me first. Wow. Included in his special work attendance record he also had all the certificates and awards I had achieved in school.
Personally I had forgotten about them but it was a nice reminder that my successes were his successes. It was neat to see these pieces of paper meant something to him. But then again this really shouldn't come as much of a surprise considering he kept ever single tooth I ever lost. My dad was also a huge collector of colored glass.
Mostly the green version but he did have other colors too. All the floors through out the living room and dining room were lined with glass, some three rows deep. This box contained several pieces of that glass. One piece held a very special memory inside. One of the earrings I wore to prom. I can imagine this particular piece of glass was sitting on the coffee table. I came home from prom, took off my earrings and tossed them into the closest vessel which happened to be that green glass jar. Pretty amazing that after all these years the earring stayed there. Seeing it there brought back many memories of friends, boyfriends, good times, bad times, STRANGE times - High School times. And in that jar the earring will stay.
My dad was also quite the James Dean fan. Many movie posters and memorabilia were around, especially in his bedroom. I remember when the James Dean postage stamps came out. I remember going to the post office with him to pick them up. I remember how he was excited like a kid in a candy st.ore I can see his smiling face I can see him taking his trademark pipe out of his mouth and laughing his special, one of a kind laugh. Who knew this many years later that day, that moment would mean so much.
Lastly, and the most meaningful to me, I found one of the brass candlesticks he used for every meal. And yes I mean every meal. My dad was known for his cooking. Even meals like breakfast were special to him. Even if he had to be at work long before I would be out of bed he was always sure to have a full meal ready for me. No cereal, no toast - were talking eggs, potatoes, sausage, bacon toast - everything, everyday. I would occasionally hide the food under my bed until I could sneak and throw it out. I mean really, who could eat like that every day? It is no lie or stretch of the imagination to say every single meal was this way. Breakfast lunch and dinner this is the way it was. These brass candlesticks were used almost every single meal. I am so happy to have a candle in it as well. He was the last one to light that candle and it will stay that way.
These items might look like trash to others but to me they are very special treasures. Things I will have for the rest of my life even if they get broken. I will not dust them, I will not wash them. Something about knowing the dust and dirt on them came from my dad makes me feel like hes here. Its like a little bit of his DNA is circulating through the house. A little bit more of him is living with me. It comforts me. I still have many boxes left to open and I look forward to each and every treasure, each and every piece of dust and each and every memory that is evoked. Be careful how you live your life. You never know if that simple trip to the post office will become such a meaningful experience. You never know if that misplaced item will come back someday to stir up so many emotions. You never know when the ones you love will be gone and all you will be left with is their "things". Today I am grateful, thankful for "things" and for the fact that my dad had so many. For each thing holds a memory and I need more of those.
